Its loss has left me irritable, confused, and downright not fit for public consumption. It has ripped every creative thought from my soul and left me with dust. I try not to be overly dramatic, for I know that my very worst day is someone else's best day. I know I have a wonderful, healthy family, a dry warm home, a fantastic teaching career, and the best group of folks, both young and adult, with whom you would ever want to spend your working hours.
I am well fed.
I am clothed.
I am loved.
I am so very blessed in so many ways each day.
And I am so...very...tired.
Today I love sleep.
I love pillows and blankets and comforters and flannel and fleece and quiet and warmth and darkness and smooth, sweet, silky sleep. I love stretching out and rolling over and curling up and falling right back into that deep abyss.
For those of you with young children, sleep the sleep of the peaceful now while you can. As your children grow into teenagers and get jobs and cars and responsibilities beyond the reach of your arms, your peaceful sleeping hours will shorten to what they once were as parents of newborns.
I thought I had forgotten those days, but oh how quickly they come tumbling back...when it is not the cough or sniffle or sob that wakes you in the dark of night, but the key in the lock...or lack thereof. The waiting and wondering...are they safe? Are they driving carefully? Did they wear their seat belt? Did they listen to all of those warnings? Did they hear us say, "I love you" as they walked out the door this time? Who are they with...really? Will they call for help if they need it?
They will.
They did listen...just as we did.
I am blessed.
But oh...I...am...tired.
Today I love sleep.
Love this post. Love the photo. So true about sleep when your kids reach the teenage years...sleep was more peaceful for me when they were little. Your paragraph that begins with "I love pillows..." makes me very sleepy in a very peaceful way.
ReplyDeleteThanks Deb...as usual I am actually catching a second wind as I sit and read through a few more posts before bed...those papers to grade are still sitting on the kitchen table, but somehow I think this has more value tonight.
ReplyDeleteSleep well,
Trish
Trish,
ReplyDeleteYou make me want to grab my pillows and curl up to sleep. I think it was this sentence that did it, "I love pillows and blankets and comforters and flannel and fleece and quiet and warmth and darkness and smooth, sweet, silky sleep." I remember the days when my kids were younger and it was exhausting. Wonderful. But exhausting. I remember falling into bed some nights and thinking how hard it was. Those days were hard work, but now is hard worry. There is the wanting to keep them safe and wanting to let them fly all at the same time. I'm with you. I love sleep.
Goodnight,
Cathy
Your post hits on the angst of motherhood...from the moments we suspect that a child might one day join our family for the rest of our days...the joys will change from snuggly love to joyous family gatherings with (hopefully some day) snuggly grandchildren and the worries will change from their breathing to their driving to their love lives....but it is all there...and it all keeps us awake...thank you for this very real SOL
ReplyDeleteYep, you hit the nail on the head. I have a 17 and a 19 year old. Can't even count the nights I've lain awake waiting to hear the key in the door, wondering if they were safe, wearing seatbelts, making good choices, etc. I agree with Cathy. It is a time of hard worry!
ReplyDelete